9 Months

Today marks 9 months of sobriety. There aren't words to express how grateful I am that I decided it was time to make a change. I am no longer a victim in this world. I am no longer consumed by anger and rage. It's kinda funny, because all in all I have the same problems today that I had 9 months ago....but I am dealing with them differently. Today I have moments of serenity, moments of pure joy, a lot of hope.

I don't want anyone to think that everything is miraculously better. Somedays I still act like a total ass, to myself and others...some times I have a lot of faith and know that I am on the right path to my proper destiny. Sometimes, I lose sight of the miracle and everything gets dark and negative and painful. Thank God for the friends I have made in the past few months, and for those who have stood by my side for some time. Even though some people might not understand the journey I am on, appreciate the breathing room and respect I have been given. To my friends....I love you!

Now for some totally disjointed comments about Balance, and the lack of it in my life...perhaps I'll call this rants and raves!

Rants!

I have only done Crossfit 3 times in the last 2 weeks...this is so lame. 2 of those times have been at the globo gym...again LAME!

I saw my neighbor's cleaning lady show up this morning as we were leaving for work and school....can we say ENVY!!!! My house has not been spic and span for months now...it's more like a constant state of triage of the most dire health hazard!! Again....LAME!

My gardener sucks.....why can't I just make it a priority to find a new one....must work on this!!

Got paid, and paid bills.....bleh!!! too depressing for words, so I try to do it quickly and forget about it.

Car needs oil change, new rear tires and smog check. I've got a great mechanic, but organizing the drop off, getting the kids to school and the pick up....makes my head dizzy already.

Being separated is lame! I don't like it one bit. I don't know what will ultimately happen...this is a complicated topic, so I'll keep it vague and brief

Raves!

My girlfriend is coming over at 6 am tomorrow so I can go to my favorite AA meeting and take a 9 month chip, and then go to 8 am Crossfit.....Heaven. Did I mention she is a rock star goddess!!! A true gift!

The swing set in the backyard is the best money I have ever spent in my whole life. Jeffrey worked so hard to refurbish it and after only a week of having it up in the yard, I feel it was worth not only the $800 I paid for it, but also the other $250 I paid to have it taken down and delivered....have I mentioned my kids are flippin' monkeys?

The neighbors have given us, in the past week, an almost brand new pair of Birkenstock sandals and shin guards for Elias...plus a hand me down 14" Batman bike. They have also pledged a skateboard......heaven!!!!! In addition, they traded me a 1/2 used bottle of gnat and mosquito killer for the yard for my watching their little guy for an hour or so. I'm not sure they realize it makes my life easier when their guy is here!! I have the best neighbors!!!!

My mom came over this week and watered, did laundry, baked a chicken and root vegetables and bathed and fed my kids....did I mention she does windows.....thanks Mom!!

I love my kids. They rock beyond belief. I love the weekend...I love spending time with them.